Boston: Get Your Philly-Themed Stuff Outta Here!

It’s just over a week until the Super Bowl, and excitement about the showdown between the Philadelphia Eagles and the New England Patriots is sweeping the nation. Pretty much everyone outside of the northeast United States is cheering for the underdog Eagles to take out Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and the fire-breathing juggernaut known as the Patriots “dynasty.” Not unsurprisingly for a sports event of this caliber, there’s already a lot of smack talk going on between fans of the two teams. Granted, Philly fans are notorious for their rowdiness and hostility to rivals, but for once it’s not Philadelphia’s obstreperousness making the news. ESPN picked up a story that the city of Boston is “banning” any Philadelphia-themed food, apparel, and personal items until after the big game.

The photo says it all, really.

Want a cheesesteak? Better cross the state like into Rhode Island. Got a bell you like to ring? It better not have a crack in it. Any humming of the “Rocky” theme song, references to the “Iggles,” and/or clothing in the shade of midnight green is absolutely verboten. Apparently Crisco is now associated with Philly as well, thanks to the Philadelphia PD famously coating lamp poles in the shortening to keep overeager fans from shimmying up them. The Esplanade Association, the group that maintains the 3.5-mile Charles River Esplanade, laid out this new “rule” in an EXTREMELY SHADY press release.

“We realized that appearing in a Super Bowl for only the third time — and first time since losing to the Patriots in 2005 — was disorienting for Philadelphia fans and that clarity on acceptable items to bring in our park should be offered. Given the Patriots are appearing in their record-extending 10th Super Bowl, we understand this information may not be needed by most park visitors.”

I could reply to this, but it would involve a lot of four-letter words of which Frank wouldn’t approve!

What I will say is that, it’s all good, Boston. You can feel free to put a ban on Philadelphia Cream Cheese. I’ll go slather it all over my bagel while dreaming about the butt-kicking you’re going to receive next Sunday. 🙂