I’m not especially afraid of dolls, puppets, or ventriloquist dummies – refusing to watch Dead Silence was a big help in that regard – but I paused and emitted an actual, audible curse when I innocently ventured upon the picture below.
Welcome to the Little House In Uncanny Valley, address redacted to be classy. This Bella Vista 4/2 is short on space and long on interesting decor choices. Let’s take a look.
One of the biggest problems this home has going for it? Clutter. It’s only 1,080 square feet, which is downright miniscule for a home with four bedrooms, and the current state of the home certainly won’t allow any potential buyer to imagine reconfiguring the space. There’s stuff everywhere. It’s eating the counters, filling every crevice, and making it hard to tell what room you’re even looking at… I think that’s the kitchen up above. Maybe?
The living room, on the first floor, is not exactly spacious. The fact that it’s covered in household detritus doesn’t help. There’s clearly a little one in the house, but the baby seat on the floor obscured the last few square inches of ceramic tile that might have been actually visible.
There are 2.5 baths in this home, of which the pictured is clearly among the full ones. Let’s just overlook the Pepto-Bismol-pink sink and bathtub a moment (hey, bathroom renos are expensive!) and deal with the weird, cluttered storage… thing… cluttering the corner over there.
The listing tells me that there are all the bedrooms and two more bathrooms spread over the second and third floors, but there aren’t any pictures available. It’s probably for the best. If these pics are the ones that made the cut, what could possibly be hiding upstairs? Now there’s a through to chill your bones even in the dog days of late summer!