W.T.Philly – It’s Just a Stage (Or Lack Thereof)

kitchen

Clutter, clutter, clutter - and what if the prospective buyers prefer a different brand of pancake syrup? Quelle horreur!

If I’ve read one asinine real estate blog post on staging, I’ve read a thousand. The topic seems to be a fave of bloggers, probably because it requires almost no research. It’s a matter of common sense, really: declutter your situation. Clean your $@!%. Go back and clean it some more. Take down all your personal items, because you are selling a home, not yourself. Go clean some more.

I’ll say something about all the stupid staging blogs – the advice is sound. Staged homes sell quicker and for more money. The psychology behind staging is sound – make a home as clean and neutral as possible, and would-be buyers will more easily envision themselves living there.

What happens, though, when sellers give not a rip for effective selling strategy? What happens when a home is a mess, bedecked with religious or political paraphernalia, or copious amounts of family photos? I’ll tell you what: we get the hot messes that I’m showing you today in W.T.Philly. Next time you are selling a home and wondering if it’s worthwhile to slap some beige paint on the walls and get down with the Clorox, keep these “winning” pics in mind.

*Addresses have been redacted to protect the innocent guilty.
**Quotes on staging were found here.

The most important thing you can do to prepare your home for sale is to get rid of clutter. Make a house rule that for every new item that comes in, an old one has to leave.

kitchen

Clutter, clutter – and what if the prospective buyers prefer a different brand of pancake syrup? Quelle horreur!

Dude(ette), let’s talk about your kitchen. Ain’t nobody going to admire a room that looks like your pantry exploded and your countertop became a makeshift refugee camp.

 

Mixing the right accessories can make a room more inviting. When it comes to eye-pleasing accessorizing, odd numbers are preferable, especially three.

bathroom

Sideways pic that nobody bothered to flip? Check. Air freshener, half-used bar soap, and Lysol hanging around ornamentally? Check.

I shouldn’t mock this one overmuch, because there are definitely three accessories present in this tragic little sideways washroom. Too bad that the trio were all found in the cleaning and toiletries section. Some things should stay in the medicine cabinet and/or linen closet.

 

Highlight your home’s strengths, downplay its weaknesses and appeal to the greatest possible pool of prospective buyers.

trash

What am I even looking at?

If your home’s strengths include a rusty old enclosure and a trash can, I weep at the thought of what one will find inside. Who took this picture and thought it would be beneficial to selling a house?

 

bedroom

There’s a lot of Jesus in one place here. Some buyers would be affronted at such a strong reflection on the owners’ preferences and might overlook an otherwise desirable home.

I certainly mean no offense, but this picture has red flags all over it – and they all take the form of serene portraits of the Lord. Anything that gives away your political or religious affiliation should be banished from your home before the first showing, so that you don’t risk alienating potential buyers. Think of home-selling as a polite dialogue with a stranger, and try to avoid the same topics that are conversational landmines.

 

One of the things that make staged homes look so warm and welcoming is great lighting. As it turns out, many of our homes are improperly lighted. To remedy the problem, increase the wattage in your lamps and fixtures. Aim for a total of 100 watts for each 50 square feet.

living

Small, dark, and hideous – not exactly the stuff of which dreams are made. Not to mention the #exposedcablecord – so attractive!

Dim lighting is one of the hardest (anti-)staging mistakes to swallow, because the solution is such an easy fix. Throw open the shades and/or use a lamp! Very few people are looking for a cave, especially not at Philadelphia prices. Let there be light!