W.T.Philly – Dancing With Yourself On Society Hill
UPDATE: IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO LISTING AGENT COMPLAINT.
Welcome to W.T.Philly, a fun new occasional feature highlighting Center City listings that make you mutter “wtf” – the “f” being phonetic for “Philadelphia,” of course. I’ll be dishing the dirt on some of the area’s most peculiar, offbeat, or simply strange residences, because who doesn’t love a little crazy in the morning?
When I was scoping out pics of this 1/1 condo in tony Society Hill, I was scanning my mental thesaurus for “small” synonyms. Because I’m a bit random and also because chocolate, I ran across “fun-sized” and was almost all over it. Then it occurred to me that “fun” normally involves other people, and made a sad face – ’cause, unless you are Thumbelina (’80s babies represent!), ain’t nobody but you fitting inside for more than a particularly staid game of Battleship.
My first studio was around 450 square feet, which is the exact same square footage as 606 Waverly St# A. The difference? My post-college bachelorette pad’s living space wasn’t spread across three floors! The trinity, or “bandbox” home is a quintessentially-Philadelphian institution, a holdover from the turn of the last century when servants and other working-class laborers needed small, affordable places to lay their heads after a long day tying cravats or scouring sculleries. A lot of trinity homes were, unsurprisingly, knocked down in the late 1900s to make room for larger residences. The handful that remain today are still servicing Philly’s poorest souls; the difference being that (with the exorbitant cost of living) folks who can barely afford the cheapest real estate here could totally score sprawling suburban palaces just about anywhere else in America!
But back to Waverly St. and the most mind-bogglingly diminutive rowhome ever. I mean, it’s adorable – in the same way that my niece’s American Girl furniture is adorable, all tiny and quaint and stuff. The home is pristinely clean and move-in ready, with warm hardwoods and nice bright walls to open up the (limited) space as much as possible. There’s just about no getting away from the fact that each floor is only 150 sq. ft., though, and that includes stairwell space.
The ground floor is the living room, and that’s not so bad. There’s a darling nook along the side wall that’s perfect for a medium piece of furniture (the current owner stuck a stand-up dresser there), and it appears that there’s a little closet under the stairs. The second floor is occupied with the kitchen and bathroom, and there’s no sugarcoating it… it’s a tight squeeze. There’s enough space for exactly one person to wedge a chair under the counter and sit down to eat by the window. Forget fitting a microwave or toaster. I don’t see a fridge or room for one, unless there’s a dorm-sized unit hidden in some pocket-sized hideyhole that the pictures didn’t capture. Maybe there’s a portal to Narnia somewhere. If there is, I’d bet you totally have to crawl in… there’s not even space for a decent-sized wardrobe up in this place. The bathroom cleverly utilizes all 6 inches of floor space by making so you can reach the sink from the commode. This is surely a strong selling point for binge-drinking college students, provided that they have stubby legs.
The third-floor bedroom is the roomiest space of the lot, with two areas for hanging clothing (a modest closet and a wall alcove) and enough space for a bed and a nightstand, provided that the bed is no bigger than a double. A loft bed would probably be your best bet here, provided that you have no significant other – or a very compact, very understanding one – and don’t mind living that cozy-cool “freshman dorm” life indefinitely. At least you’d have a bit of space for your action figure collection, some books, or simply to cower in a ball and rock back and forth from inescapable claustrophobia.
All snark aside, there’s no denying that this place is all about location, and that you are simply not going to find anything more affordable nearby – at $194,900, that’s mindbogglingly cheap for a home that isn’t teetering on condemned. And shacking up micro-home style is very trendy right now, so there’s that. For someone short and single with a spartan lifestyle and an affinity for take-out, this nest could be just right.
